So I attempted to have a coherent conversation with a friend this afternoon. After taking an in-class essay exam, on about four hours of sleep. I hope this friend eventually forgives me for my unbelievable arrogance in thinking I could pull this off w/out saying something really stupid. Telling someone their hat reminds you of your kind of dorky aunt isn't a friendship-ending remark, is it?? ::sheepish grin:: Thank God for friends who dispense grace...well, gracefully. It also probably helps that I give her class notes when she misses, which is kind of a lot... ;)
So I am seriously freaking...was just notified that since I'm in the honors college, early registration for fall 09 starts THIS WEDNESDAY. !!!!!! I've spent the last hour organizing my class schedule for my last semester here, and it's been one of the most surreal moments of my life. They suggest I start filling out the paperwork for graduation like, yesterday, so I can make sure all my info is processed for the deadline in the fall. Life after graduation has always seemed like such an abstract thing...now that it's rather suddenly becoming an unavoidable reality, I don't know whether to laugh or cry. The idea that there's some random cut-off point where I'm suddenly supposed to know everything I need to for my career - one I'll probably spend at least most of the rest of my life doing - seems almost ridiculous. So here I am, sitting on my bed, staring at the class schedule of my last semester before graduation...and I can't tell whether I want it to be over yesterday, or last forever...
Got into the weirdest conversation w/ an old acquaintance last night...this individual kind of opened up to me unexpectedly. I tend to ask pretty "real" questions when I talk to people, but I'm pretty used to getting pat, prepared, or just superficial answers. People don't usually want to brave truly personal territory...it's too risky. But this guy was actually pretty honest with me...it kind of inspired me. While talking to him, I realized that while I am usually pretty quick to ask the questions, I'm not usually one to offer back personal stuff myself. I think it's because I usually assume people aren't interested in me the way I'm interested in them...so why offer up yourself to people who don't care? But talking w/ him made me realize that that's kind of why I feel like I'm here - it's even a big part of my passion for writing. I believe that God's given me something to offer - something special, that no one else has, or can give, in quite the same way. So anyway, yeah...I've decided that this is one of my goals for the summer - work on giving of myself more unreservedly, without preconceived notions of what people are interested in.
Heehee...compared to how my posts mostly reflect the way I generally look at the world (from a place of dry, often astonished humor), such serious posts like this truly crack me up. But as Tim said the other day, "Sometimes, Lindsay, there's no choice. Sometimes you just gotta bring out the serious."
:D
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