Halloween (def.): Holiday in which life temporarily becomes eerily similar to a Tim Burton film...

So I complimented someone on their paper kitten ears today. You just gotta love the randomness that is Halloween.

:D

I did the most pathetic thing I've ever done for extra credit on Wednesday. My mythology prof decided she'd give 5 extra credit points to anyone who dressed up this week as a Greek mythological character. So purely in the interest of education (and raising my grade, which is currently borderline "you're kinda stupid,") I showed up to class on Wednesday dressed up as Zeus. Since it was my last class of the day I was forced to sit through my prior two classes looking rather ridiculous. But I just kept responding to all the laughter and mocking with this mental litany: "I am secure in myself. I don't care what people say about me. I wish this cardboard thunderbolt was real, so I could fry all these morons to ashes."
It got me through.

:D

Went through a "haunted" tour of the Quirk Theater last night with Jasmine...I did not get nearly as scared as I thought I would. But Matt was one of the zombies that was supposed to scare us, and even though his makeup was very good, it kind of ruins the effect when you know the person. Plus in the midst of all of the hysterical screaming and laughter, I saw Matt break character and laugh, and that COMPLETELY took me out of the moment. I have to admit though, the room where they re-enacted a scene from "The Ring" DEFINITELY got to me. That was the point when I grabbed onto the nearest body and shook with terror. (The body happened to belong to a burly 6'5 football player I met just before beginning the tour. It should've been an awkward moment, but wasn't, because as it so happened, he was shaking in terror too...)

bunnies, brussell sprouts, Oregon, and other things that terrify me..

Top Five Reasons Why I'm Excited My Family Is Moving To Portland, Oregon:


5. Living in a roomy, spacious home can get to be a drag. All that extra room to have to clean and maintain.

4. Being in such close proximity to your favorite people can be very distracting from the TRULY important things in life: work, money, grades, and stressing about working more, making more money, and getting better grades.

3. Often people find it curious (and even at times weird and off-putting) how much I like my family. This way I can see if I REALLY like them, or if it's some kind of sickness due to over-exposure.

2. Home-cooked meals are SO overrated. Especially by us college students who go months without them. I will now have the chance to fully grasp this concept.

1. I'll now have an excuse to do some real traveling. I want to see the world, and Oregon is at the TOP of my list.

--------

::sigh:: This is supposed to be funny. I might be in too sarcastic a mood right now to really pull it off...but it did cheer me up a little to express this.

:S

sleep? I've heard of him...we've never officially met though...

Can't sleep. And do I ever have every reason to. (There's a really confusing sentence) But just one of those nights when my mind is going at 500 mph, albeit without my consent. I hate nights like these...makes me wish I was an irresponsible person, and could just get into my car and drive; chase the sunrise. But alas, I am confined by my own inescapable responsible streak that keeps me chained to my bed, fruitlessly searching for that elusive being called sleep...

I am processing so much right now...but what I can't seem to process is this physical pain I feel. I forgot what it's like to hurt so much for someone else that you can actually feel it. That's how it feels right now when I think about the people I love hurting. And so far away, I feel like I can't reach them.

Sometimes life really bites.

remembering the days when my biggest concern was whether Mom would let me watch Mr. Rogers AND Sesame Street...

::sigh:: So I had an awesome weekend. And it has left me rather unmotivated where school is concerned...now I just wanna forget homework and go home and play. :D But I did love the break from school life...I got to do things I haven't done since the semester started. I got to shop for FUN, eat out at my fav restaurants, see a movie in theater, watch my lil sister perform...it was fun. :D PLUS I got to cause a minor stir at church, which is always fun. :D

H and I spent a long time the other night reminiscing about what we remember about our early childhood...sharing memories into the wee hours of the morning. It was fun...but definitely made me miss the good ole days when I had two friends, one favorite pair of pants I wore ALL the time (until Mom would catch on) and the (rather stupid but nonetheless comforting) total confidence in the goodness of life, people, and the unquestioned omniscience of my parents. Sometimes I miss life being simple.

So there is NOTHING more annoying than being approached by a guy when you know it's on a dare originated by his group of friends standing five feet away. In hindsight, I've decided I was much more polite than I should've been. I mean, don't they assume that a girl's got some standards?? Since when is it a compliment to be hit on as result of a dare?! Sometimes I'm convinced the entire male race is beyond help. Then I remember that I have a nephew. :S

what to do when wicker chairs resemble thumbs...

I cannot draw. Oftentimes I fully climb aboard the whole "try the impossible" bandwagon...very inspirational, challenging, cool, effective, etc. But in this case, multiple attempts only lead to horrible disappointment and abject shame. So the next time my CRTW prof insists that I try ANY kind of drawing, contour or otherwise, I shall simply remind her of my last attempt, when she looked at my drawing of a chair and commented, "Nice thumb, Lindsay."
In short: it's just not going to happen.

So the next best thing to vacationing in some exotic location has to be coming home after being away to find - unbeknownst to you - that you have suddenly achieved celebrity status. I love coming home from school. :D It makes me feel all special and missed. I think everyone should have that experience at least once every six months. It's good for the self-esteem.

So the drama with 'S' is back in full force now that I'm home again... ::sigh:: Sometimes I feel like no matter how far away I get from my past - distanced either in location or time - I will never really get away from my problems here; from who I was when I was here. Lately I've been thinking about what gives me identity or meaning. Is who I am really what I have become; what I actually am, or is my meaning derived by the identity people place on me? Does it really matter if I've changed, if I've grown, if everyone in my life continues to interact with the person I was, instead of who I am now? I want to be who I am, not who everyone expects or is comfortable with. But change is hard. There's times I'm not sure who - or what - I want to be anymore, and that's disconcerting.

ANYWAY...enough of all that messy introspection. :D I am quite terrified (but psyched) about tonight...apparently we're having a "girly" party, where I shall be getting very girly with everyone. Suffice it to say, I am extremely nervous, as I've always flunked in the being-a-girl department. Sometimes I wish I could just be a throw-the-football-around-wear-jeans-and-a-tshirt-all-the-time kind of girl. But I think the time has come to broaden the horizons a bit. (As long as my morning grooming session does not have to get any longer than the current 10 minutes. I value my sleep greatly, after all...)

:D

It's an attempted takeover! Humanity vs. Ladybug, and I have OPPOSABLE THUMBS, so take THAT!!

So in the past three days, I've killed 15 ladybugs in my room. The recent odd twist in "The Saga of the Hostile Invasion of the Coccinellidae, or Lady Bug" is that despite my rather severe (crippling, really) fear of spiders, a small spider (who has taken up occupancy in the far bottom corner of my room) and I have called a rather bizarre truce. He stays in his corner in plain sight where I can see him, and I allow him to live. I also herd ladybugs in his direction and he snares and disposes of them (I don't know how - I stay ignorant of the actual process. I find in cases like these that ignorance is bliss). So that's the rather dysfunctional system currently in place in my room. I don't know how long I can survive these conditions, but I have not yet gone over the edge. (To be updated on an hourly basis).

ahhh, so THAT'S why I'm going to college!

Had lots of fun in Creative Writing today...Prof Lao handed out an excerpt of a scientific book about parasites, and had us create poetry/prose from random bits of the text. SO much fun, and really funny what some people came up with. Mine turned out to be rather serious, but what can you do? :)

(Found text from Parasite Rex)

FACES

Complement settles
If men and women
Would stick their faces underwater -
They thrive because they have many more ways of fooling
Each other
To make their home.
Some can live in any kind of cell.
Almost everyone is a
Paradox
Although billions of humans
Can’t raise the right defense,
And
There’s some evidence
It becomes dangerous.
We
May seem like gentle creatures
But
Are always ready to destroy -
It tastes like
An exhausting game.
We
Need to move
But
Shy away and never see
All are faceless.